You know those days when you find out someone you used to date is getting married? And you feel depressed, not because you wish you were still with that person but because you wish you had gotten married first? Yeah, that happened this weekend. Lame.
On a happier note, I'm sick today. My nose was so runny last night that I ended up just getting a little piece of toilet paper and stuffing it in my nose while I slept. That's not the first time I've done that. Luckily, today is my day off from the MTC and Dixon, and I have no tutoring appointments at UVU so I can stay home all day.
Thanksgiving was fabulous and I'll post about that later when I get the pictures uploaded. I love my Zogmaister family!
Tonight my roommates and I are having our own Christmas FHE. We're going to get our Christmas tree and decorate it together. I'm SO excited! I just downloaded Michael Buble's Christmas album and I'm itching to bust out my favorite ever: *NSYNC's Christmas CD. Never gets old. I'm definitely feeling the holiday spirit!
Finally, today is my little brother Thomas' birthday. Except he's not little at all. He turns 17 today and he's something like 6'5" and pretty well built. I can't believe he's so old; I can still very clearly remember things from when he was a baby! He's grown up into an impressive young man and I really love him so much it surprises even me. Happy birthday to him! Here he is with my other brothers; he's the one in the middle. I love him, but he's not so great at smiling for pictures. I love these three guys. Like a lot.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
In our church, there are no paid clergymen. There are no paid positions. Everyone who serves in the church does so voluntarily and out of their own goodwill and choice. And everyone serves. Everyone has what's called a calling, or a position to serve in for an undetermined amount of time. Some callings last longer than others and some require more time, effort, and brainpower than others. All callings are important and almost all callings are temporary. So the leader of our congregation is only the leader for a few years, then someone else gets called and that former leader may become a teacher in the children's organization or the person who puts together the program for each Sunday service. It's a blessing to be able to contribute and I am so grateful for the things I have learned and for the talents I have developed through my callings.
In my last ward, I had my most favorite calling of all time: Sunday School teacher. Every other Sunday I had the opportunity to teach an hour-long class out of the scriptures to the other adults in our ward. This year, we're studying the New Testament and I loved spending time studying the life of our Savior. In May I was released from that calling and called into a leadership position in the women's organization. I bawled like a baby. Over a calling. It was so weird. I was just so sad to have to give up my teaching calling. I enjoyed serving with the women in our ward, though, and I still got to teach a little bit.
When I moved into this new ward (what we call each congregation, depending on your geographic location) I volunteered for the Sunday School calling again. And I got it! I was so pumped. Usually, you don't volunteer for callings; you are assigned it and you have the opportunity to accept it or reject it. It is generally understood, though, that no matter the calling, you accept it. I know that callings truly are inspired of the Lord and He assigns us to serve in certain positions because we have talents or skills to offer those we serve. I know He also sometimes calls us because there is something we need to learn. I felt a little bad for volunteering, like I was going behind the Lord's back, but I know He approves of the calling I have and I really do enjoy it.
A week and a half ago at church, I saw one of the Bishopric members (one of the leaders of our ward) in class and he asked to speak to me. I know what that means: new calling. He said I was going to be able to keep my teaching calling but He had another calling for me. He said the Bishopric had prayed about it and felt strongly that I needed to receive this additional calling. Now, before I tell you what it is, just remember what I said about how callings are inspired of God and He has something for us to learn or something for us to contribute. And also that we don't say no to callings.
He called me to be the activities committe co-chairperson.
If you know me at all, you know I'm not very social. I have lots of friends and I love spending time with them, but I'm not generally an attendee at planned activities. I like to meet people on my own time, on my own terms. I rarely go to activities. Now I'm in charge of planning and executing them. Awesome.
Obviously, there's something for me to learn here. That something is called humility. We'll see how it goes.
I guess it's not the worst calling I could imagine. He could have called me as a Family Home Evening group leader or the Ward Prayer coordinator. Nope. He gave that last one to my roommate. Suck-ah.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Bday 2k11!
When people ask what my favorite holiday is, I say Christmas because I don't want to come off as selfish. Truth is, my favorite holiday is my birthday. And no, it's not because of all the attention or presents, because I actually hate the attention. BUT it is a time when the people I love are nice to me and give me surprises! And I LOVE surprises. It's taken some time but I've managed to educate all those who are close to me so they understand that birthdays are important to me.
Jaime, being the best best friend that she is, started it out right the weekend before by taking me to the Heber Valley Railroad! I've always wanted to go so she got us tickets for my birthday. It's super historic and stuff...that's all I know about it.
This is not the train we rode on. The one we went on looked much less pretty.
It was freezing onboard! And the truth is...it was boring. The scenery was not that great since all the leaves had already fallen and there wasn't any snow yet. But Jaime and I always have a great time together so we still had fun! I'm really glad I got to go, and it was a fun afternoon.
Afterwards, Jaime tried to convince me that we were going on a surprise double date up in Logan. Never believed that for a second. We went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner, which was, of course, delicious. I'm gonna tell you a secret, but if you use this against me at any time when I'm in the restaurant, I'm going to be mad. So here's the secret which you may already know: we arrived and there was an 80 minute wait. That's almost an hour and a half, if you struggle with math. Instead of waiting, we just sat at the bar and we were in and out before we would have even sat down. The food was just as good and I don't think you're allowed to smoke in restaurants in Utah anyway, so it was awesome. The bar's where it's at.
That brings us to this past weekend - the actual birthday weekend. It started with a dinner with friends at a local Thai place. It was so good and the company was fabulous.
Lauren is my oldest friend in Provo. Ok, she's not the oldest in years. I've just known her the longest - since our freshman year in the dorms.
Aubrey and Jason, Danielle and Mitch, and Aubrey
Cody, Steve, Lucas, and Hailey
Angela and me
Aubrey and Jaime
Afterwards, Jaime said we were going back to our house to hang out with our closest girl friends, which I was super excited about! But then we got to the freeway and we got on it, which is not how you go to our house. I'd had the thought a couple weeks ago that maybe we would go to a hotel on my birthday because I love them. But I believed her when she said we were going home. Once we got on the freeway, though, I knew where we were going, except for when she straight up lied to me when I guessed. We stayed a the Hampton Inn in Sandy. Aubrey and Angela had some kind of connection through work so we got to stay for free!
There were eight of us in one room but we had such a great time! We stayed up talking and laughing and practicing braids. I wasn't really included in the braid party, though, because my hair's too short. Sad. I had an awful night's sleep, but it was still such a fun night. I'd live in a hotel if I could.
Roomies
Afterwards was the Breaking Dawn movie, which I already blogged about. As I mentioned in my other post, I loved it and would totally see it again. Another tip: for popular movies, go to the Megaplex in Lehi because you can reserve seats and you don't have to show up early to get a good seat!
When we got home, everyone scattered to do their own thing so Jaime and I took naps then went to Texas Roadhouse to spend my birthday coupon. Every year they give you a coupon for a free appetizer for your birthday. You have to buy an entree, but Jaime and I just split the appetizer and entree and called it good. This time, though, we were pretty full after our salads and oh-so-good cheese fries so we boxed up the rolls and chicken and brought it home for dinner the next day. The whole bill was 12 dollars, including tip, and it fed us both for two meals. That's 3 bucks each per meal. Sweetest deal ever. We went shopping afterwards with some money my dad gave me for my birthday. I never have enough money to go shopping so that was also very exciting.
Sunday was my real birthday, but since it's Sunday there's not a whole lot you can actually do. We got up and went to church, napped, then that night a few friends came for cake and games. This is the beautiful angel food cake Jaime made me. Those are strawberries on top, not tomatoes.
It was so so so good. I really think I ate about half of it myself. But it's angel food so it's super light, right? And the fruit makes it healthy so it's all good. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got lots of love from family members and friends and the weekend was full of surprises which is what makes birthdays great! I had so much fun. This morning, though, I woke up with a serious case of post-birthday depression. Now I have to wait 364 days for more surprises. The only thing that's keeping me positive is that Jaime's birthday is in 10 days and I've got some sweet surprises up my sleeve for her birthday. Coming up with surprises is almost as good as being surprised myself!
Here's to 26!
Yep, I went to see Breaking Dawn on Saturday with m'ladies. Unlike all the naysayers, I loved it. Sure, the writing's not awesome. And sure, the acting is along the lines of awful. But for some reason, with these movies, that doesn't bother me. Twilight's still one of my favorites and the acting in that one is horrendous. I'm actually watching it right now while I'm blogging. I don't know what it is about these movies, but they're mystical to me, enthralling. I love every minute.
And seriously, with a wedding like this how could you not love it?
I downloaded the soundtrack the same day. I'm in love.
As usual, the movie came out the weekend of my birthday, not a coincidence if you ask me. Here we are at the show:
I have a little bit of news. I know, I know. About time. But don't get your hopes up - no marriage yet. I'll let you know when I find a guy.
This story really begins about seven years ago when I first came to BYU. In one of my classes, I saw a flyer in a classroom about Teach For America. Before I even really knew what it was, I knew I had to be a part of it. It's hard to explain, really, but I just always knew I'd end up in Teach For America. Once I found out what it was all about, I was in. It's an incredible organization fighting for an incredible cause. Learn more at teachforamerica.org. Here's a quick video:
Later that year, I was trying to figure out what to major in and I asked my friends what kind of job they would imagine me doing. I don't know if she even remembers this, but my friend Kathleen said she could imagine me teaching at an inner-city high school. She probably didn't know it, but that really impacted me and I've thought about it a lot since then.
Fast forward a year, when I saw the movie Hardball for the first time. All Keanu Reeves jokes aside, this movie made a huge impact on me. If you aren't familiar with it, it's about a guy who, out of obligation, ends up coaching a little league baseball team in the Chicago projects. He hates it at first but then the kids end up trusting him and they form a bond. At the time, I was preparing to serve a mission for my church and I remember telling my roommate after watching that movie that I needed to serve a mission in the projects of Chicago. I felt such a strong desire to be in a place like that, helping these kids who grow up in terrible circumstances and have no other options simply because that's where they were born. Simply because they don't have anyone in their lives who has the time or capability to give them the tools they need to get themselves and their families out. They're not any less capable or intelligent than a child born in the suburbs; they just don't have the encouragement or tools they need to develop the way they could somewhere else. In some cases, it only takes one person to tell them they can do it and to give them the resources they need to succeed. I knew I could be that person.
A year later, I got my mission call. Not to Chicago. When I came home, my major path took me in a different direction and I made other plans, but I always had Teach For America in the back of my mind. I'm graduating next month, so I decided it was now or never. I began my Teach For America application a few months ago, and as deadlines came and I advanced through each level of interviews, nothing was a surprise to me. I wasn't nervous about the interviews or any of the very long application process, because I knew this is what I was supposed to do. I think I've always known.
Teach For America places teachers in about 50 cities throughout the United States. In your application, you can list 10 preferred cities and they do their best to place you in one of those cities. It's been a dream of mine to live in New York City since I don't even know when. Probably since I knew it existed. That was obviously my first choice, but I threw in a few other big cities (I'm definitely a city girl) and a few regions in the South, trying to avoid snow as much as possible. I'm pretty over winter.
Indianapolis was an option, but I never even considered putting that on my list. Sure, I'd love to be closer to my family and it's pretty cheap to live there, unlike most cities on my list. I just have never had any strong desire to return to Indiana. I've never felt like there was much there for me anymore, especially being single. The LDS population in general, especially the single scene, is pretty minimal in Indiana, so going there was pretty much a death wish for my marriage hopes.
The night before the application and preferences were due, I was praying and I honestly don't even think I was thinking about Teach For America at all. All of a sudden, a thought came to my mind that I should put Indianapolis on my list of preferred cities. I've been thinking a lot about my younger brother lately, and how badly I wish I could help him and be an influence for good in his life. He's 16, so it's time to start thinking about a mission and where to go to school and I want to be a voice pushing him in the right direction. I know he has my parents, but honestly who listens to their parents at 16? I just feel so helpless being so far away. So when that thought came into my mind, I thought of him. I'd be much closer to him and could develop a legitimate relationship with him. I'd also be close to my nieces and nephews who I love beyond words and whose lives I've missed so much of already. But then of course all my arguments flooded into my mind: What about a husband? If I can't find one in Provo, I'm not going to find one there. But then I thought: it only takes one and if Indiana is where I'm supposed to be, God can put a husband there for me just as easily as he can put one in Provo.
But what about my dream? What about New York? I want to be there so badly that it hurts sometimes. Even just seeing pictures of it makes my stomach flip. As I was thinking about this and arguing it back and forth in my mind, a very distinct impression came: Am I willing to give up my dream to save my family?
Yes. I would do anything to help them, including giving up my lifelong dream if that's what it takes.
So I changed my application. I left New York as a #1 choice, too, but I knew if I put Indianapolis at #1 as well, I'd be going there because, let's be honest, who wants to go to Indiana? If someone lists that as their most preferred region, they're going there for sure.
November 8th, I received an email saying I've been accepted to the 2012 Teach For America corps in Indianapolis, Indiana, teaching secondary English beginning next fall.
This means a permanent move out of Utah. This means leaving the very best friends I have ever known. This means going to a city with very little LDS marriage, or even friend, prospects. This means settling for a very unglamorous life.
But this also means being within minutes of my sister's family and within an hour of every single other person in my immediate family. This means being there for Thomas' football games and Micah's soccer games. This means being there for birthdays and holidays. This means seeing my nieces and nephews often enough that they remember who I am. This means being in Indianapolis for Peyton Manning's return, when the Colts start being good again. This means being in Indianapolis when the new temple is built and dedicated. This means being surrounded by people who I can share the gospel with. This means exercising my faith that I have an all-knowing Heavenly Father who knows better than I do and will always provide the very best for me if I try to follow His guidance.
I don't know if it means saving my family. I don't know if they even really need me. But maybe this means that I need them.
You know those days when you wake up and you're just not happy? Not necessarily in a bad mood, but having a hard time finding things to be happy about. And you just don't want to do anything or go anywhere?
That's me today. It's worse because I don't have any missionaries at the MTC right now so I don't really HAVE to go to work. I can and I should just to get the hours which I really need. But knowing that I have no obligation to leave my house makes it pretty difficult. It's 11:00 and I have to be there at 12:00. I haven't showered yet. We'll see if I make it...
In other news, it's my friend Taylor Kowallis' birthday today. I've known Taylor since we were born and we've always celebrated our birthdays together since we're only five days apart. Happy birthday, you beautiful mama! That also means it's 5 days until 26. I'm still deciding how I feel about that. I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Monday, November 14, 2011
I've had three friends update their blogs since this morning and this is what all of them have posted. I hate feeling left out. So here's my contribution as well:
Oooooohhhhh.....it hurts I'm so excited. Now, to go finish The Help so I can re-read The Hunger Games before March...
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Remember that one time when I told you about how I was a published writer and editor?
"When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities." -President Ezra Taft Benson
This is one of my favorite quotes ever because it's such clear direction for how to be happy and at peace in such a crazy world. I'm still figuring out how to do it.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
My roommate Whitney is a pretty social girl. Much more social than I am. She had a great idea a few weeks ago to invite some friends over to carve pumpkins on Halloween. Her get-together quickly turned into a party and the pumpkins didn't happen. She made chili, though, and I made cornbread. She also made some amazing sugar cookies. We had a pretty good turnout and despite my Halloween-hating sentiments, I actually had a pretty good time.
Hailey, Whitney Howard, Whitney Ehlers, Angela, and Jaime were minions from Despicable Me.
This was our group the first hour. A few girls from our new ward came - Lauren, Allie, and Allie's friend. Aubrey was a butterfly and I was a soccer player because it required no money and very little effort. The shinguards and cleats were my roommates' idea. I wanted to just wear the jersey and be done with it.
We had more people show up a little later: Scott Baxter came as Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day and DeeAura was Katniss from the Hunger Games. Jason and Aubrey were a pretty sexy vampire couple. That Aubrey is always sexy.
Love.
Mitch brought his new girlfriend Danielle; he was dressed as Justin Timberlake. I got it right on the first try and he said I was the first one all day that had gotten it right on the first guess. I don't know a lot of things, but I know my JT.
Steve Hall came as Justin Bieber, and he favored us with some freestyle rapping. Derrick was his beat-boxer. It was hard to get a good picture of both of them because they were moving so much. I was actually legitimately impressed with Steve's freestyling skills. He might've been my favorite part of the night.
Happy Halloween! And Happy November! Now begins my favorite month...it's birthday time!
Things that have happened recently:
I went to General Conference. Jaime's mom hooked us up with tickets to the Relief Society broadcast the weekend before conference and then again for the afternoon session on Sunday. We had pretty decent seats and the speakers were fabulous. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth the crowds to go the Salt Lake, when it would be much easier to just watch it at home. It's fun to go, though, and I feel like I should take advantage of the opportunity while I'm close.
While we were there, I ran into a friend who I had gone with a few times earlier this year, but I ended it because I just wasn't feeling it. When I saw him at conference, I was reminded at how wonderful he is and how much he likes me, which made me want to see him. I saw him, we went out again, it's still not there. Shoot.
My roommate Aubrey bought a king size bed for her room. She has a giant room which merited a giant bed. It's big enough to fit Hailey, Whitney, Angela, and Aubrey at the same time. And Jaime and I sat at the foot of it. That's six girls on one bed. Pretty incredible. Yep, I'm still in a twin bed.
Last night I had my last night with the missionaries in my district. Most of them leave early Tuesday morning, and the other two leave on Wednesday. I've only had three districts while at the MTC but this one has definitey been my favorite. We've had ups and downs, just like any group of missionaries, but they've been so much fun and I feel like I've been able to really be myself. I love them!
They are, left to right, Elder Vahai from Tonga, Elder Indriamiarina from Madagascar, Elder Kim from Korea, Elder Perea from Mexico, Elder Okada from Japan, and Sister Fetuli from Tonga. I know you're not supposed to play favorites, but Elder Okada is hands down my favorite. He's pretty happy all the time, he laughs freely, and he's pretty soft-spoken but really very funny if you take the time to listen to him.
I go to a Dating and Courtship class at Institute (not my choice, btw. I'm blaming it on Jaime.) and we talk a lot about dating and flirting. Then today in our Stake Conference there was also a lot of talk of dating and flirting. Our Stake President actually showed us in the Old Testament how to go about getting someone to date you and how you should act. Yep, they're pretty focused on helping us get married. I don't mind, though. Anyway, I feel like I should put a little more effort into flirting. So I invited a guy to watch the CES fireside with us tonight and I tried out some of the techniques. Somehow it all turned into a big joke and kind of blew up into my face. I'm pretty sure he has no idea I'm interested, and I just feel exhausted. Makes me want to never flirt again.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Ugh. I need to blog about Halloween but I haven't uploaded the pictures yet and that just takes too much effort. Not today.
In other news, on Monday my driver's side window in my car stopped working properly. The window itself is still intact; it just wouldn't roll up into the frame. So it'd roll up, up, up and out of the door, leaving about a centimeter of space between the glass and the door. Since I bought the car, the window hasn't gone all the way down but whatever. I can deal with that. This, however, creates a problem any time it's cold or precipitating, which happens to be this week. Awesome.
So I took it in to my trusty mechanic Ben who happens to be the husband of my good friend Chrissi. Check her out here. He told me it was the rubber strip that keeps it in line and it was broken. Replacement? 68 dollars. Seriously? For a strip of rubber? Ew. No choice, though - I can't be snowed on all winter.
So I took my car in last night and 16 minutes after I woke up this morning, I got a call from Ben. It's not the strip that's the problem. It's the...regulator...I think. Except it's about 50 dollars more than the other part. So with parts and labor, I shelled out 200 dollars for my stupid car window this morning. Not the best way to start my day.
I hate cars. One more reason I need to live in New York City: no car necessary.
Because it's apparently gratitude month, though, here's the good news: it now rolls all the way down. Translation: I can now reach the tube in the drive-up at the bank. For that, I'm grateful.
