Funeral Trip

In January, my mom's mom, Grandma Carole, passed away. She'd been sick for a while, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but her health did decline quickly at the end, so it was a bit abrupt. I've never lived close to my grandma, so I never had a very close relationship with her. Her death wasn't extremely difficult for me personally, but I did feel really sad for my mom. When I put myself in her shoes and tried to imagine if MY mom died, my heart broke for her. I will be devastated when that happens to me. Good thing my mom will never die because she practically looks younger than me.

 

The funeral was in Utah, but I didn't really entertain the idea of going because I didn't think I could afford it and I didn't have many extra days to take off of school. It wasn't until my sister asked if I was going, because she was thinking about going, that I even realized this was something I could really do. I checked into it at school, and they gave me 3 extra days off for bereavement, and you better believe I took every single one. I don't mess around when it comes to days off. Especially when they're extra on top of what I get normally. Being able to leave on a Wednesday instead of a Friday also brought the ticket price down quite a bit so I could afford it.

 

An added bonus of flying in on Wednesday was that I would get there early enough to go with my mom and dad to drop Thomas off at the MTC. This wasn't part of my plans at all when I booked the flight, but I was super excited about it. Unfortunately, my flight out of Indianapolis was delayed almost an hour, and I missed my connecting flight in Denver by about 10 minutes. So I had to sit in the Denver airport for a few hours before being able to fly to Salt Lake and I missed Thomas' MTC drop-off. I was super bummed, especially since I hadn't really said goodbye to Thomas in Indiana because I was planning to see him again in Utah.

 

Jaime had recently told me that she and a group of our good girl friends were getting together for dinner that Wednesday night. When I scheduled my flight for Wednesday morning, I was so excited that I'd be able to be there for that dinner! I thought it would be fun to surprise the girls - I'd just show up with Jaime and they wouldn't know. Then I realized that Jaime didn't even have to know! She had already told me where they were going, so in casual conversation that day I asked her what time they were meeting. I had my dad drop me off, and I just walked up to their table. The surprise was fun, although I think it was honestly more fun to anticipate the surprise. I was smiling about it for days beforehand, just waiting to see the looks on their faces. Unfortunately, a couple of our friends weren't able to make it to the dinner that night so I didn't get to see them. :( I love these girls and miss them so much. I've made friends here in Indiana that are great, but this group is one of a kind. I feel like they're my soul sisters.

 

 

That night I went home with Jaime and spent the next day and a half with her and her family. I was able to go see Joey and Michelle's house (her sister and brother-in-law), which they're remodeling, and I got to play with her cute nieces and nephews. The next day she and I met Tessa for lunch and I went back to Bountiful with Tessa to help with funeral preparations.

Saturday morning was the funeral. It was a really nice ceremony with lots of music and personal experiences and testimonies from my grandma's two sisters and each of her kids. I sang "I Know My Redeemer Lives," which was going really well until the end. I'd made a point not to look at anyone during the song because I didn't want to start crying. Then on the last verse, emotion hit me out of nowhere and I couldn't even sing for a minute. The power of the words hit me - "He Lives, all glory to His name. He Lives, my Savior still the same. Oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives. I know that my Redeemer lives." What a powerful testimony during such a difficult time. Our Savior lives. He overcame death, and because of that we, too, will overcome death and have the opportunity to live again. Our spirits are eternal and they never die, and someday our bodies will be resurrected in full glory so that we can go on living eternally in a perfect body. The day before we'd dressed my grandma's body for the funeral, and she looked so frail and small and lifeless. But I know that she will rise again in youthful splendor. And I know her spirit goes on living now, and I know she's working to help bring about God's purposes on the other side of the veil. That knowledge is what overcame me as I was singing. I couldn't get it together in time to sing the rest of the song, but I did manage to speak the last few lines, which just repeat "I know that my Redeemer lives." All I wanted in that moment was for my family members who were struggling with my grandma's death to know that I knew that she was still living and because of our Savior she would be resurrected.

At the gravesite, we all sang "I Know My Father Lives," which was really sweet and my dad dedicated her grave. Right at the end of his dedicatory prayer, the sun came out and warmed us all up. It was a really sweet, symbolic moment of the Savior's love and the promise of better days ahead.

Both my cousin Elise and I were named after my grandma - Carole Rose. Elise Rose and Kaley Rose.

Even though my grandma's death wasn't a huge struggle for me personally, I was so glad I went to support my mom. Her strength and testimony of the gospel and plan of salvation were inspiring. She was a strength to everyone at that funeral.

Afterwards, my aunt's ward put on a luncheon at their church for all of our family. I'm always so touched by these loving acts of service that members of the church give. Most of those people didn't know our family but served willingly, and I love that. One of my favorite things about our church is how well it takes care of its own.

After the lunch, we were all pretty tired. Funerals are emotionally exhausting. We went back to the hotel and vegged for a while, then my mom and dad, Tessa, Jaime, and I went downtown Salt Lake to look around the Gateway a bit and have sushi at Happy Sumo. Happy Sumo is my favorite part of every trip to Utah, and I was so excited to introduce it to my family. It was my mom's first time having sushi, and she loved it. It's so good. You guys. IT'S SO GOOD. I can't even explain how much I love this place. I also just really love my family. I loved combining these two things that I love so much.

The next morning my dad and Tessa flew out super early. My mom, Jaime, and I got up and went to Music and the Spoken Word at the Tabernacle. It was Jaime's first time, even though she's lived in Utah most of her life. It was a really nice way to start a Sunday.

I flew home that evening. My flight was right at sunset, and I loved flying over the snowy mountains. I always think of "America the Beautiful" when I see the mountains at sunset, "For purple mountain majesties..." What a blessing this beautiful earth is to us. I always feel my Heavenly Father's love when I take in the natural wonders that we get to see for free. They're the most beautiful sights in the world, and they're His gift to us.

For all...come short of the glory of God

Valentine's Day is a funny thing.

It's a day to love and be loved, but for a lot of people, it's a blinding reminder of a lack of love. An unnecessary one, really. Leading up to Valentine's Day, I was not feeling particularly sad about my current love situation. Sure, I want a husband and kids. Sure, I think about it often. That yearning comes and goes, though, and I'm usually fine. I have plenty of people in my life who fill my heart and give me purpose. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and it was pretty low-key for me. I worked, then came home and Tessa and I ate dinner and watched a movie. I got some chocolates from one of my students and some from Tessa, and I was feeling just fine about things.

Before going to bed, though, I looked through Facebook and Instagram. Mistake. Apparently, the only thing to do on Valentine's Day is post pictures and descriptions of how great your Valentine's Day is - how much you love your spouse, what he got you, what you got him, what you did, where you went, what you ate. I felt that familiar ache creep in as I wondered why everyone else in the world gets to have a boyfriend or husband or kids or someone to love them. It's really hard to watch people enjoy what you want so badly but can't have for some reason. I know better than to compare myself to other people, but sometimes it's hard not to. Especially when they display it so blatantly. (Note to self: avoid social media on Valentine's Day next year. Rookie mistake. Except I'm not a rookie.)

As I lay in my bed fighting tears and trying to go to sleep, I thought a lot about it and reminded myself that social media is a warped view of reality. These people might have a spouse and kids but they surely are dealing with other things. Infertility, loss of loved ones, illnesses, unemployment, addiction, discrimination, marriage trouble, disabilities. The list continues. But for some reason, we only broadcast our good. I find myself especially sensitive to this, as I feel uncomfortable with sharing personal, negative things on Facebook because it feels like an attention-seeking pity party. I know that's not the case for most people, but I feel that way a lot of the time.

I think what it comes down to is the value we put on strength and pride. We don't ask for help. We don't show our weaknesses. A lot of us struggle even accepting help when it's offered. We are so sure that we can do it ourselves - that needing help somehow makes us less of a human. We are so quick to share our successes and so slow to share our failures. The thing is that our failures are exactly what make us human. Our trials are what bind us together. We all have very different experiences, but we all have trials, and we all need help. We all "come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).

I'm sure I wasn't the only one hurting yesterday, and I'm sure the reasons for the pain were various. Every single person in pain, though, can receive help from the same source. Through the Atonement, Jesus Christ offers rest for the weary. He can take our burdens if that's what's best for us, or in many circumstances, He lets us keep them but makes them lighter as he bears them with us, adding His strength to our own. "He descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things" (D&C 88:6). When I turn to Him for help, I am never disappointed. I know I can trust Him, because He has come through for me in the past. In those moments when I wonder when I will have the chance to love and be loved, I'm reminded that "God so loved [me] that he gave his only begotten Son, that [if I believe] in him, [I] should not perish, but have everlasting life." That's the most important offering of love I could hope for.

Aloha Thomas!

It's hard to believe my baby brother is old enough to be a missionary. Last October, he received his call to serve in the Hawai'i Honolulu mission. He came home right after Christmas to spend a month at home before going into the MTC.

 

Sidenote: over Christmas Break, I met with a lady from my parents' ward who is a genealogy expert and she sat down with my mom and I for a few hours one afternoon and helped us get started on the Church website to find names to do temple work for. I had always been really overwhelmed by family history - I just didn't know where to begin. Having her there for those hours was the best thing we could've done because it gave me the chance to learn it by doing it. I set a personal goal this year to do two hours of family history work every month. I laugh at that now, because it shows how little I understood. It is SO addicting! I think I spent about 15 hours on family history in January alone. Once you get started, it's hard to stop. There's always someone else to find. In about a month and a half, I've found about 200 family names to take to the temple. It's so rewarding. The night that Thomas went through the temple, our family went down early so he could meet with the Temple President. I had some female names to do so Micah did the baptisms and confirmations for them, then my mom and I did a few initiatories, then my mom, I, and several women from my parents' ward did their endowments. My dad and a few other men also did endowments for our family names. Sitting in the endowment room waiting for the session to start, I kept looking down at the name in my hands: Drucilla Taylor. I could not get over the feeling of joy, knowing that I had found her. It wasn't just that she was in the system needing work, but I actually found her. She was not on the website at all, but by looking through records I found her name and now in one day she had all the ordinances she needed, short of sealing. As I've been doing this work, I've learned another side effect: it definitely turns your heart to your ancestors and makes you want to find them and take them to the temple. But more simply, it makes me want to go to the temple more often because I have dozens of names of people who are ready for their work to be done and I have promised to do that work for them. It's an incredible thing.

 

Now, back to Thomas. He went through the temple for the first time that night and I'm so grateful I could be there with him. As I've already mentioned, I'm still not over the blessing and novelty of being able to be involved in such important family events. I'm so proud of his choice to go through the temple and go on a mission and it was an honor to be there with him that night.

 

A few weeks later, we had his farewell. The night before his farewell talk in church, my parents threw a farewell open house for him at their house. My mom and Micah did an amazing job on the food and decorations. I think Thomas and Dominika helped, too. My mom and I joked that it was nice of Thomas to go somewhere that lends itself so well to a party theme. :)

The next day was his farewell talk. Our entire family was there except for Holden. That was a really special moment for us - to have everyone at church at the same time. Micah, Dominika, and I sang "The Olive Tree" and Thomas spoke last. His talk was really interesting - a rare look into his mind and why he chose to serve. He said there were three reasons: He knew there was at least one person in Hawai'i who was waiting for him specifically to teach him or her, He also knew it would be a good opportunity for him to cement his own testimony rather than relying on his parents' testimony, and He knew he was going to be an example and a strength to his two older brothers who are both making their way back to the church. It was a really proud moment, and I'm grateful for his example of willingness to sacrifice for himself, others, and the Lord. After church, we took some sibling pictures. I love these people so much.

 

Afterwards, all the ladies in the family went to our cousin Lindsay's baby shower. She wasn't due for five more weeks but her baby boy came only a few days later! It was a really great weekend.

Tessa's Birthday

For Tessa's birthday, we got together for a family bowling night. I'm pretty hit-and-miss when it comes to bowling. I'm either really good or really terrible. Often, I start out really well then go downhill. That's what happened this night. I hit some strikes in the beginning then got tired and stopped caring. We had a great time all hanging out, though. 

 

 

Afterwards, we went to Cheeseburger in Paradise for dinner with our big, noisy clan. 







That night, I was thinking about how much I still enjoy these family events. I've lived here for a year and a half now, but the novelty of being here for this kind of stuff has not worn off. I cannot get over how much I love seeing my family and being with them. As much as I struggle with my job sometimes, I'm so grateful that it brought me home.









 



Tessa's birthday wasn't actually until the next day, so the next morning when she went to go work out, the kids and I wrote 36 things we loved about her, put them inside 36 balloons, and blew them up to put in her room. I had to go to church before she made it home, but the kids were so excited to surprise her and help her pop all the balloons to see our messages! I'm grateful for a generous sister who has allowed me to live with her and her kids for the last year and a half. It has been a huge blessing to me.

 

 

Starting the Year Off Right - Road Trippin'

This winter, my travel itch was buggin'. I really wanted to go on a road trip, and I wanted to go somewhere warm because the Indiana winter was too much for me already (Ha. I had no idea what we were in for). My best road trip partner is Jaime, but I'd already been to all the states around her so flying to Utah to start a road trip wasn't worth it. Instead, I flew her out here as her birthday gift (with some bonus miles I had stored up) and we drove down to Louisiana, the only state in the south I hadn't been to. We drove down through Kentucky and Tennessee down to Birmingham, Alabama where we spent the first night.

Just across the Tennessee/Alabama border there's a huge rocket at a roadside rest stop. My aunt and uncle had told us about it so we already had our eyes peeled, but it's not likely we could've missed it. It was probably ten stories high.

The placards were a bit confusing so I never really could decide if this particular rocket had ever actually been to space, but it was still really cool!

If you know me at all or have read my blog for a while, you know I love hotels. I'm content with a crappy hotel, but I love fancy ones even more. On this trip, I discovered my best friend: Hotwire.com. They put up last-minute deals and you can get really cheap rooms the day you need them or in advance. Because of this website, we were able to stay in nice hotels (nice for us, at least. We typically stay in one- or two-star hotels) for totally reasonable prices. The first night in Birmingham we splurged and went four-star downtown. It was gorgeous, but I decided that it's not worth it. We had to pay for parking, there was no free breakfast (or anything for that matter), and it wasn't really that much nicer. The rest of the time we stayed in three-star hotels and most of the time they were just as nice with free parking and free breakfast.

We spent a lot of time watching HGTV and the Food Network that first night in Birmingham. We got in after dark and I wasn't feel very well so we didn't go do anything or eat anywhere. We had plenty of time on our hands to watch Chopped and HGTV's Dream Home.

The next morning, we went to visit the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, which was the site of a terrible bombing in the early 1960s. The bombing killed four teenaged girls. The church was the home of a lot of the important events of the Civil Rights Movement in the area. The history was interesting and it opened my eyes to the terrible things that have happened right here in our own country that we often forget about.

The sanctuary inside was really beautiful, especially the stained glass.

That day we drove down to New Orleans, our final destination. My favorite part of New Orleans was all the water. There are tons of bridges, and some of the freeway on/off ramps are just floating in water (well, not floating, but they're not very close to the land). I loved coming into the city and seeing water everywhere. It's easy to see how it would be a dangerous place to be during a hurricane.

The first night we went to the famous French Quarter. We visited Jackson Square first and enjoyed the lights along the Mississippi River.

We found Bourbon Street, but I was really not impressed. The architecture was really cool, but the overall atmosphere was really trashy and I didn't feel very good being there. Maybe it's better during the day.

We stopped at a restaurant on Bourbon Street and had the best meal of our trip. We tried oysters (not so good) and stuffed catfish with a crawfish sauce and a side of jambalaya. It was SO good. We still talk about it. We also allowed ourselves to be talked into some fried cheesecake which had a delicious lemon sauce.

And in true Louisiana fashion, they had a giant alligator hanging on the wall.

 

The next morning, we drove a bit south to Destrehan, Louisiana to River Road which is right along the Mississippi River and is dotted with plantations. We visited the Destrehan Plantation. Our tour guide was very knowledgeable and we had a great time trying to imagine the place in its prime. Unfortunately, it was not warm (45 degrees was not exactly what I was imagining when I chose a warm spot) so we didn't spend a whole lot of time exploring the grounds after the tour.

Bridge over the mighty Mississippi.

We stopped for lunch at a roadside restaurant and had the most amazing shrimp and crawfish pasta. I could definitely live in New Orleans for the food, though I'd probably be a lot fatter than I am now.

That afternoon we went on a swamp tour of a local bayou. We were hoping to see some wildlife, including a dancing alligator like the one they advertised. Unfortunately, most animals don't like to be out when it's 45 degrees outside. The only alligator we saw was a tiny little one whose head was on a log. We had to stop the boat and the tour guide had to literally give us step-by-step instructions on how to find the alligator's head among the brush. For some reason, it's not quite as exhilarating when the alligator head could have easily been mistaken for a rock on a log.

 

If you're thinking, "Hey, this picture is upside down," you're wrong. That alligator skin was hanging from the ceiling of the gift shop. A perfect ceiling decoration for any home.





We boarded this beautiful boat with our guide (whose name I can't remember) to float around the Louisiana Bayou looking at a whole bunch of nothing in barely-above-freezing temperatures. I'm glad we went, but I definitely think this would be a much more enjoyable experience in the Spring or Summer. Maybe I'll go back someday.

 

Our tour guide was fabulous. He knew so much about the bayou, the animals, the area, everything. He hadn't been formally educated, but he was amazing at his job. I recorded this video to record his Cajun accent which was so cool. I'm not sure if it'll work or not.

There wasn't a whole lot of wildlife out, but we did see these raccoons whom our tour guide had named. They recognized his voice and perked up and came over to the water when he called them. Then he threw them some marshmallows. I've never thought raccoons were cute, but these little guys were pretty adorable. I guess they're cuter when they're not going through your trash.

The best part of the trip was when he went over to this box in the corner of the boat and pulled out a tiny little alligator. It was his pet alligator named Allie who he's raising in his house. INSIDE his house. Crazy. He let us pass her around and hold her, which was super crazy and cool.

No, I didn't apply a layer of self-tanner between these two pictures. I'm not sure why I look so much darker in the second one. But maybe you didn't even notice the color of my skin because I'm HOLDING AN ALLIGATOR!

 

 
That evening we drove across the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway which is the second-longest bridge over water in the world - 24 miles!

 

That's us after already having been on the bridge for over ten minutes.



We drove through to Mississippi that night before stopping for the night. The next day we drove to Nashville, Tennessee and made it into town just in time to see the end of the Colts come-from-behind win in the playoffs. That was a pleasant surprise!

 

We drove downtown to Broadway, which is the main strip of Nashville where they have bar after bar with live music. I seriously have never seen so many bands playing at once. I tried to get a picture of the lights and feeling of the area, but my camera was not cooperating. So I'll post the pictures I took, then I'll find an internet picture to show you what it really looks like. :)

And this is what it really looks like. 

 

We found a candy store that was the most amazing place I'd ever seen. There was candy everywhere and everything we tried was delicious.

These. Were. Real. We didn't try them.

We walked all the way down to the river. I don't know what it is, but I'm just a water and bridge nut. I think they're gorgeous, and a city that surrounds a river is my favorite.

Our plan was to drive back to Indiana the next day (Sunday) because I had to be at work on Monday and Jaime's flight left early Monday morning, but a huge snow storm moved in and we were stuck in Louisville. We could have tried to go farther, but we wouldn't have gotten very far so we stayed in Louisville and watched our friend Juan Pablo on the Bachelor.

We tried to go home again the next day, but the freeway was closed just past Columbus, Indiana. Fortunately, my parents live in Columbus so we stopped at their house and stayed the night. My brother Jacob had also gotten snowed in there so my dad made popcorn and we all played games. It was a fun surprise night with my family!

We finally made it back to Indianapolis the next night, but not without difficulty. Interstate 65 was still closed so we had to go around and come up on the east side of Indy on Interstate 74. That freeway was open, but it was still pretty covered in snow so it was slow-going. They cancelled school again the next day so we settled in and watched the next episode of the Bachelor.

In all, I think Indianapolis got about a foot of snow and they cancelled school for five days. So we were supposed to go back to school on Monday, but didn't go back until the next Monday. Jaime was also supposed to fly out that Monday morning, but she had several cancelled flights and she didn't leave until Wednesday night. It was so fun to have her here for a few extra days, though if we'd known, we could've stayed in New Orleans and visited more sites! I always love having her here, though, and she was able to visit with the rest of my family which was fun. They consider her part of the family now.

It's been about a month since this trip, and I'm already craving another road trip. Jaime and I were just talking about this and we decided we should probably just become truckers together so we can be on the road all the time. It's the best way to travel! Next on the agenda: New England.