Four Years

Today is January 31, 2011. It's my husband Justin Timberlake's 30th birthday, but I won't focus on that. Four year ago today, I entered the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah, embarking on the most challenging and most rewarding 19 months of my life. To say I was nervous is an understatement. I was terrified. But I was determined to serve the Lord and the people of Argentina the very best I could. (I was also really chunky. But you can just ignore that.)

My mom, my cousins Lindsay and Melissa, and Melissa's husband Thomas all came with me to the MTC. I was fine until they played the "Called to Serve" movie then made us say goodbye. I cried as I said goodbye to my mom, but they say goodbyes are easier when they're quick so I didn't linger too long. I said bye, then tried to dry my tears as fast as I could as I moved on to checking in.

That first day, I don't remember much, but I remember meeting my roommate Hermana Tyhurst first, then Hermana Van Wagenen, then finally my companion Hermana Zogmaister. When Hermana Tyhurst and I first got to our room, we looked at our companions' names and decided we somehow got stuck with the two sisters with the hardest names in the whole MTC. Fortunately, we also got blessed with two of the most spiritual and definitely most fun sisters in the whole MTC. When I saw Hermana Zogmaister for the first time, I looked at her nametag, figured there couldn't be too many missionaries with that kind of name, and yelled, maybe a little too enthusiastically, "You're my companion!!!" I'm pretty sure I scared her. I'm also pretty sure she judged me that day. Lucky for us, we both calmed down and we had an amazing MTC experience together. I'm so grateful that she's been my best friend for four years.

I remember seeing a friend from my BYU ward at dinner that night. I remember meeting our branch president. And I remember being extremely overwhelmed. But I also remember feeling the love of my Savior and my Heavenly Father and the sweet peace that came from knowing I was doing the right thing. The MTC was at the same time fabulous and frustrating. I was filled with the Spirit and with anxiety (though not usually at the same time, but pretty closely intermixed). But I wouldn't trade it for anything. And in the four years since, I have become a different person. I'm not the spiritual giant I imagined I would be; I'm not married; I don't have kids; I'm not even graduated. But I am better for having served a mission.

My Love

Trust me; you need this. I have recently become obsessed with the goodness of this hummus. (Not just any hummus-the hummus plate at Blue Lemon restaurant is not the same. Don't be fooled.) This stuff is legit. I've had the roasted pine nut flavor, too, which is also good but this roasted garlic hummus takes the cake (which sounds delicious, as well) when it comes to yumness. I've become obsessed with dipping carrots in it, though it's also good on crackers and I'm sure it'd rock on some other raw veggies. The point is, I'm in love. And I love it when I fall in love with things that don't make me fat. It loves me back.

The Bandwagon

I go to BYU. For those of you who are living under a rock, we have a pretty great basketball team led by a little guy named Jimmer Fredette. If you don't know who he is, just type his name in your search bar. Go ahead. Find out.

I really wish I were a BYU basketball fan so I could write a whole post about how amazing the San Diego State game was and how bad SDSU got jimmered. But I didn't watch it. And I don't believe in professing my love for a team I've never watched play. So I'll just fredetteaboutit. But I am proud to go to a school that is now getting nationally recognized. That pretty much makes me famous, which is really all I care about.

Anyway. I will, however, profess my love for the best friends ever. I think it's a pretty good sign that when you have to have a girls night because one of your girls just got her heart broken and the night ends in a fist fight, you've got yourself a pretty rockin' group of girls on your hands. That's tough love. That's true love.

Someday

It's 7 degrees outside.

162 days until summer.

And Now For Tomorrow

All my blogger friends have long since made New Year's posts, with years in review and lists of resolutions. I haven't done that. Which means I'm lame. Or also, it may mean that I am so overwhelmed by a new year that I have no idea what to do with myself. Have you ever felt like there are so many things you want to change about yourself that it's impossible to narrow it to a reasonable number? And even if you could, the things you want to work on are not quantifiable? Well, that's me this year.

These are some goals I have considered:
1. Eat better/exercise more often. This is generally easy to quantify, but I am unwilling to commit to a number, because I know I'm not motivated to do what it takes to attain that number. I believe in setting goals I can and am willing to achieve. All the numbers I can think of for this are not numbers I am willing to commit to.

2. Be more spiritual. Umm...how do you quantify this? I could make a scripture study goal-like an hour a day so I have time to really get into what I'm studying. But I am unwilling to commit to that because an hour is a lot of time and I have not been successful in doing that in the past. But half an hour doesn't seem to be enough for me.

3. Get married. hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

4. Graduate. I can do that one! And it is measurable! That's number one on my list. If that doesn't happen, it will be because I am dead, so everything else would be quite irrelevant.

5. Change my attitude about nearly everything in my life, such as my living situation, my job, school, etc. Also difficult to measure. Also difficult to change.

Another problem I'm having is that my life is now unplanned. I am SO excited to graduate this year. Like you wouldn't believe. No seriously, imagine how excited someone could be to be done with school. Times that by at least 100. That's not even how excited I am. Graduating has never been scary for me because I had some plans for afterwards: go abroad somewhere to teach English.

Just so we're clear-that's not a plan.

I am now realizing that the closer I get to graduation, the closer I get to undefined world. I don't have an internship set up. I don't know where to go. Maybe I should do one locally then go abroad after graduation. Maybe I should try to teach at the MTC, which is essentially what I've dreamed of since about Day 5 of my personal experience in the MTC. Maybe I should quit my job early to go participate in the Hill Cumorah pageant with my family. Maybe I should then spend some time in Indiana since I miss them so much all the time. Maybe I should instead use my money to go to Mexico or Costa Rica just because I can. Maybe I should study to become a seminary teacher, since that's what I can't get out of my mind for some reason.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I have a lot of decisions to make this year and I have absolutely no clue which ones to make. Maybe that's why I'm not only unmarried, but in fact home alone on a Saturday night-because I can't make decisions for myself right now, let alone another human being.

This is what I'm going to do, at least for today: continue to pretend like I don't have to make those decisions. Here are a few of my highlights of 2010:

1. Travel, travel, travel! Wyoming (twice), Indiana (twice), Colorado, Argentina, and Chile. I'll admit, this list isn't as long as I would hope it to be. But still not too bad for one year. 2011 will be better. I won't let you down.

2. I officially love my ward. I've loved wards before but I have never loved them like I do this one. I feel completely at home here and I have so many really, really cool friends. Leaving this ward also scares me.

3. I got to go home twice-the first being as a surprise for my mom's college graduation and Mother's Day. She had absolutely no idea and the look on her face when I walked in was probably one of my favorite moments of the year. The second, Christmas at home, was also fabulous. I don't know how I lived before I had nieces and nephews.

4. I got out of debt. Well, except for my student loan. But I'm still a student, so that doesn't count for now. It is a wonderful feeling to not have to give all my money to my credit card when I get paid.

5. I accomplished one of my post-mission goals. I won't tell you what it was, but it was very nice.

I am a completely different person than who I was on January 8, 2010. I've still got a long way to go, though. And for the first time ever, I can honestly say I have absolutely no idea where I will be a year from now. Here's to a very adventurous 2011!

Keep Your Eye on the Grand 'Ol Flag

Confession: I don't know the words to "Auld Lang Syne." Not that surprising since most people don't. But I know the first line. It's "Should auld acquaintance be forgot." For some reason, though, every time I hear it in my head, that first line is followed by "keep your eye on the grand ol' flag." Those songs must sound similar because they are forever combined in my brain.

Happy New Year!

This year, I went up to my friend Erik Johnson's cabin near Kamas, UT where a bunch of us celebrated the New Year together! We watched a movie, played games, ate some delish food, and no one kissed. That I know of. Except the ones that are married, or practically married. But we had a lot of fun.

Except that the water was not working.

Which means the toilet was not working.

Great. But we made it through. It has definitely made me grateful for running water and a working toilet. Especially when there are 25 of you sharing one bathroom.

These are the ones that are practically married.

I'm sure at this point, Derrick was talking about some kind of nonsense. Not whales, though; that was this morning. Whales have two brains, by the way. That way they can turn one off in order to sleep. Thank you, Derrick Williams.

We're pretty great.

This was when we were all pretty tired already but couldn't go to bed yet.

I rode up with Cary and Carla and I would like to say, they may be one of my favorite married couples ever. They're both still who they are yet make an excellent pair. I commend them for finding each other.

Another confession: I hate snow. This week we got a ridiculous amount of it and I officially took the stance that under no circumstances do I like it. It's cold. It's wet. It makes my car do weird things. It makes driving impossible. It is dangerous. And it's not even pretty because as soon as it hits the ground, it turns brown from dirt and exhaust. I was not seeing the beauty in Heavenly Father's creation. Well, this weekend I got schooled. Snow in the canyon is gorgeous! The sunshine helps, for sure, but it's all white and thick and makes the trees and mountains look so beautiful! I repent. I like snow in some places. Just not on the road between my house and my work.