I don't have anything else to say but that my twin niece and nephew, who are three years-old, are the light of my life. They seriously make all of my days better. Except for when Cooper does his whole-body-gets-tense shriek/whine. It's awful.

But most of the time he's also really cute.

Like when he tells me about using his "sloss" after he brushes his teeth. He's taking his dentist's advice to heart at an early age. Brushing alone isn't enough.

Don't forget to sloss.

My baby brother is 18 years-old today. How did this happen?

And how did he get so much bigger than me?

Reason #243 I'm glad to be in Indiana: I was able to go to Columbus tonight and go to dinner with Thomas, Micah, and my parents to celebrate Thomas' birthday. I get to be here for stuff. This never gets old.

He didn't want anyone at the restaurant to know it was his birthday. No saddle and Texas Roadhouse yeehaw for Thomas. He wouldn't even let my parents bring the birthday gift to dinner and when I gave him the card from me, I had to hide it in my jacket so the server wouldn't see and Thomas opened it under the table. He did seem appreciative when he opened it, though. At least that's something.

I love this kid hard core. I'm so proud of everything he's accomplished. Not only is he a star football player (that's the obvious part), but he's also a really great person. I hear stories all the time about how much his friends' parents like him and how impressed they are at his willingness to serve and his humility in doing it. He'll have a huge impact on those who get to be around him when he goes out to Utah next year. I'm choosing not to be offended that he's decided to move out to Utah just as soon as I move back. I might have to follow him back. He'll never shake me.

Happy Birthday, Thomas!

I follow Emily Maynard on facebook. That's right, The Bachelorette. Even though my heart breaks that she and Jef Holm are no longer together and the likelihood of her becoming Mormon has diminished, I still love her enough to read her posts in my newsfeed as if she were really my friend.

Her post yesterday was a quote that has impacted my thoughts the last few days:

"It is not happy people who are thankful; it is thankful people who are happy."

Confession: I haven't been very thankful recently; thus, I have not been very happy recently. I was so sure that I was supposed to come to Indiana and do this job, and I was so sure that I was going to do great things. It hasn't been as easy as I thought and I'm still waiting for the great things, but I am still so sure that I was supposed to come here. So I should just get over myself, trust that things will work out in His time (it is His plan, after all), and figure out how to be happy in spite of it all.

So I'm going to be thankful. I'll be writing things in a separate journal but every once in a while, I'll write them here. Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, I think my list will be a bit longer than usual.

1. I am thankful for a loving and patient Heavenly Father who shows me that He loves me, supports me, and understands me through small tender mercies. When I really need it, and sometimes when I don't, I feel such an overwhelming feeling of love and reassurance that I know can only come through the Holy Ghost who is His messenger. This job is one of the hardest things I've ever done, but He has constantly reminded me that this is where He wants me to be, this is where He directed me to be, and this is where He will help me fulfill my purpose, whatever that is.

2. I am thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I'm thankful that when I think or say rude things about my students, lose my patience, or flop on my face as I try to teach them, I know that every day I can start over. I'm thankful for the enabling power of the Atonement which empowers me to keep going when I just want to sit down and cry.

3. I am thankful for faithful, supportive, and loving parents who tell me how proud they are of me. Even though I don't always feel like I'm worth being proud of, I always know that they understand the power of the Atonement and because of that, they know I'll be successful because I've chosen to follow God's plan for me.

4. I am thankful for my sister for letting me live with her, rent free. Not having to pay rent has been a huge blessing as I'm working to get out of debt, and I've so enjoyed getting to know her better and becoming friends with her.

5. I am thankful for four kids who make me feel so loved every time I step in the house. Their voices, laughs, hugs, and words warm my heart and make me happy.

6. I am thankful for phones and skype which allow me to stay in touch with dear friends who now live almost 2,000 miles away, especially Jaime who has been one of my most constant supporters since I moved here. She's always willing to listen to me vent about my students, and she doesn't even judge me for the awful things that I say about them. :)

7. I am thankful to be close enough to my family to participate in everyday things like football and soccer games, first races, Thanksgiving dinner, birthdays, and choir concerts. Individually, they seem small, but having missed EVERYthing for the last eight years, it is a legitimate pleasure to be there for each one of them.

8. I am thankful for my brother Jacob and the changes he's made the last few months. The Atonement is real and he has reminded me of that. I'm grateful for the chance to drive him to church every week and see the change firsthand as he bears testimony, studies the scriptures, and fulfills a calling. His enthusiasm and zeal for the Gospel is contagious.

9. I am thankful to have a job that allows me to meet my basic needs and work on paying off debt. I am thankful to have something that challenges me, even though sometimes I'm not sure I'm up to the challenge. I'm thankful I have prep periods between each class to allow me to collect myself and gear up for the next class. I'm thankful that I have weekends and holidays off. I'm thankful to have supportive co-workers. I'm thankful for two students who brought me birthday cards, making me realize that I have had an impact on at least 3% of my students.

10. I am thankful for my health and strength. I'm thankful that I can do pretty much whatever I need or want to do. I'm also thankful to finally be able to look in the mirror and be satisfied with what I see.

11. I am thankful for my calling as a Gospel Doctrine teacher. It's a lot of work to prepare lessons, but it is also very reassuring and confidence-building to be able to do something I'm good at. It feels SO good to teach people who are well-behaved, receptive to my teaching, and complimentary.

12. I am thankful for 60 degrees and sunshine in November. I think that was a personal birthday gift from my Heavenly Father.

13. I am thankful that I can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste. I'm so grateful to be able to enjoy this beautiful world with all of my senses. It is astounding.

Happy Thanksgiving! Here's to happy thanksgiving every day.

I've been trying to think of something I could blog about. I've got nothing. I was sick this week. That's not interesting.

Today Campbell said something that I wanted to write down because it was so funny. But I didn't write it down and now I've forgotten it.

I do remember, though, that I was working on a project this evening and she was "helping" me. She kept asking me why I was doing certain things and before I could even answer her, she'd ask, "Because you want to?" It made me laugh every time. Thank you, Child, for allowing me to not have to explain my every move. Yes, because I want to.

A few things I've learned over my two-day sick-at-home run:

1. Facebook is only interesting if you check it once a day. Otherwise, people don't update nearly fast enough.

2. The  happiest people in the world are those who win on The Price is Right. It's the purest form of joy I've witnessed.

3. Being sick means you are no longer on a diet. Anything goes.

4. As long as you have a facebook account, you will never have to worry about forgetting to vote.

5. Nasal spray is the only way to go if you've got a stuffy nose. There's just nothing else like it.

I was having a conversation with my brother yesterday, and thought of this talk: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/faith-in-the-lord-jesus-christ?lang=eng&query="faith+in+the+lord+jesus+christ".

It's from a few years ago, but it is really straightforward and offers concrete insight into why faith is important and how we can increase it. It also offers insight into how our faith is decreased and what we can do to avoid that happening. Read it. It's worth it.

The point I thought of yesterday, though, was his point that "Faith and fear cannot coexist." This is not a new concept, but one that is valuable. If we find that we are afraid of something in our lives, we're allowing the fear to take over and not trusting in our Heavenly Father's plan for us.

The key, though, is personal righteousness. Elder Pearson quotes, "Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught: 'Faith is a gift of God bestowed as a reward for personal righteousness. It is always given when righteousness is present, and the greater the measure of obedience to God’s laws the greater will be the endowment of faith.'"

In order to have the faith necessary to not fear, we must be obedient to the commandments God has given us. If we are righteous, we can feel confident that whatever happens will be for our good and that God will protect us. If we are choosing to be disobedient or not follow God's laws, then our fear will be rightly founded. God cannot protect us against the evils of the world if we are not following the guidelines He has given us.

Doctrine and Covenants 38:30 says that "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear." The preparation is obedience and personal righteousness, which leads to faith. If ye have faith, ye shall not fear.