Through a few conversations this week with a couple of people who are going through some not-so-happy situations, I've been reminded that our happiness really is what we make it.

Something that I need to work on.

In the Book of Mormon, in Mormon chapter 9 verse 14 Moroni talks about our eternal state. He says, "And then cometh the judgment of the Holy One upon them...and he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still." Our ability to be happy in any situation, regardless of our circumstances is an eternal characteristic that we should be trying to develop now. If we can't figure out how to be happy in this life, we won't be happy in the next life, either. Happiness is something that comes from within us and it comes from living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We can't rely on external conditions or forces to make us happy or we will be constantly disappointed.

This has become sharply clear to me over the last few weeks as I have had the great opportunity to try to be happy, even in difficult circumstances. I haven't been very successful so far. I always said I'd be happy once I graduated from college and could just work. Now that I'm graduated, I have a job that requires more work than college ever did and is absolutely exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not really what I had in mind when imagining my post-bachelor's bliss.

The key is not to pin our happiness on future circumstances, but to learn to derive our happiness from the approval and love of our Heavenly Father, who will give that to us as long as we are keeping the commandments and trying to live the best that we can, including loving and serving others and keeping ourselves pure. As we go forward, we may not always be in ideal conditions, but our confidence can "wax strong in the presence of God" (D&C 121:45). And that's where true happiness comes from.

Oh yeah, and I got another prayer answered before I even said it. Seriously, things are a little out of control lately. I don't know if I'm just more susceptible to the Spirit because I am drowning or what, but I have had so many strong witnesses and manifestations of God's love for me in the last few weeks than ever before. Another one: Friday afternoon was one of the worst hours I've had since I started teaching, and that's saying something. It was awful. I was so frustrated and so upset, wondering why it is so darn hard to manage a group of thirteen year-olds. I mean, really. They're thirteen. I'm twenty-six. I am double their age. I've got lots of years, lots of experience, and lots of knowledge on them. I should be able to do this. And I'm just not. So after crying it out with a friend and then trying to keep the tears in in front of a co-worker, I went to a mandatory neuroscience conference for my graduate program. I so did not want to go to this thing - not my idea of a good Friday night activity. But I went and the presenter shared an hour's worth of concrete, implementable strategies for catching and keeping student's attention in class. Exactly what I had struggled with that day.

God's not joking around on this one. He's making a serious statement about not only how important I am to him, but how important these kids are. And He has entrusted them to my care. He wants the best for them even more than I do and He is doing everything He can to make sure they get what the deserve. I hope I'm up to the task.