It's past my bedtime, and these days, bedtimes are important. My alarm will be sounding in an all-too-short seven hours and I've got to go to bed. But I just have to get something down so I don't forget it.

Today didn't suck.

I came back after being out sick yesterday and to be honest, it was a fight to keep myself from calling in again today. Not because I wasn't feeling well, but because I just.didn't.want to. The note left from my sub wasn't very good which did not help my excitement for dealing with needy, insubordinate kids who apparently have never learned a think about accountability in their lives. (This is just how I was feeling. Not necessarily true. I know a lot of them have awesome parents who teach them lots of important stuff).

So I got it together and I went on with my day. And it didn't suck. Sure, there were several times when they completely disregarded my directions or were completely oblivious to the fact that I was even speaking. Yes, I did end up sending two students to the dean's office (their final consequence) in my last period class and had three others who got detentions. Of course, the lack of drive and effort displayed by some of the kids was depressing.

But I also saw a girl who had just barely gotten suspended come to my room to let me know she wasn't going to be there for the next few days. And she looked genuinely upset.

But I also had two students who were stimulated and excited about what they were reading in class today because it was new, interesting, and challenging. One of them asked if she could write the essay about it even though it wasn't required. She already did. And she emailed it to me. And it's awesome.

But I also had three students who came to eat lunch in my classroom not because they had a lunch detention, but because they wanted to. Because they feel safer, happier, or more comfortable in my room than in the cafeteria, even though eating in my room means they have to be silent while others are serving detentions.

But I also had a student come into my room to read for just two minutes of his passing period because he couldn't get enough of the book he's reading for SSR.

But I also had another teacher tell me that he overheard one student telling another that my class is tough, but it's ok because I'm "really cool."

But I also got to the end of my day, and I was still happy. That so rarely happens.

I'm not naive enough to believe that things are turning around in my classroom. Today was as difficult as any other day has been. The students were as unruly and disrespectful as they have always been. But today I chose to not let it affect me. And I chose to be happy. A happy teacher is a more effective teacher, right?

Today I felt for the first time that maybe, eventually, somehow I could actually do something worthwhile in my classroom.

Like make a difference in a kid's life. Maybe.