Before I start this post, I just want to make something clear.

I know to my very core that there is a God. That He loves me. That He cares about me. And that He sent his beloved son Jesus Christ to pay the ultimate sacrifice so that He could have me forever.

I know that.

Now here's the story.

Lately I've been struggling with a few things.

First: scriptures study and prayer. I know they are vital to my spiritual well-being. I know that they are necessary daily. I do them. But I really struggle with making them meaningful and personal. My prayers are pretty routine and I don't really feel much of a connection with God when I pray. My scripture study is lame at best. I read for about 10 minutes, I half-heartedly try to come up with some kind of personal application, and I count it good. Sometimes I am just on fire with love for prayer and scripture study and sometimes I just struggle. Lately I've been struggling.

Second: money. I've got a few debts I'm trying to pay off and my income is pretty meager. I'm about to move across the country to start a job that doesn't start until August which means I won't have any income all summer. I have a housing contract that goes through August which I'm trying to sell, and if I don't sell it I'll be forced to pay rent all summer, even though I won't live here, along with my unrelenting cell phone bill, car insurance, car payment, student loan, and credit card. All with no income.

So...I'm a little bit stressed. I choose not to think about it because at this point, thinking about it changes nothing and will only make me worry. So for now I'm choosing to have faith that things will work out because I pay my tithing and I try to be frugal, although I admittedly struggle when it comes to trying to have a social life with friends who have well-paying full-time jobs and seemingly minimal financial obligations.

One other piece of background information: I've always been a pretty responsible person and I'm the kind of person that will just do something because it needs to be done even though I don't particularly want to. Case in point: in every single apartment I've lived in at least one of the utility bills has been in my name. Not because I want them in my name but because I'm the one proactive enough to call the company and have it put in my name so we don't lose power. In my current house, I have both the gas and power bills in my name, which means that every month I'm a debt collector and have to ask my roommates for money to pay the bill.

This month, I received a 20 dollar bill from 2 different roommates for the gas bill. As I was putting things together last night to get ready for my day today, which included depositing the money in my account, I realized I only had one 20 dollar bill. I had no idea which one I was missing and no idea where it was. I searched my wallet, my purse, my desk area, downstairs, the pocket of my jeans...nothing.

This is where the struggling with money comes into play. Twenty dollars, to me, is a lot of money. I barely have enough money to pay my own portion of the bills, let alone someone else's portion. So, naturally, I started crying. Because I'm 26 years-old and a college graduate and losing 20 dollars is a mini crisis. How pathetic.

I had had the thought that I should pray because, hello, that's the obvious solution since God knows where everything is. But as previously mentioned, I've been struggling in my prayers lately. Not that I don't believe He's there or listening to me or can help me. I believe that. But last night it took me a while to actually get on my knees because I didn't think I had the faith necessary to make it happen.

But I did. I got on my knees and through my tears prayed for forgiveness for even having to ask for help on such a silly little thing as finding 20 dollars. I acknowledged that this was not that big of a deal and that there are far more important things in the world to worry about and that if I didn't find it, I'd still be alright. In the grand scheme of things, 20 dollars is nothing. Except that it's not nothing. I knew that Heavenly Father knew my financial situation and how stressed I was about it and I knew that He could help me. So I prayed for help - for inspiration on where to look or for peace in accepting the loss.

When I got up from my knees, I pulled out my purse and rummaged through it again. Within probably 30 seconds of saying amen, I reached my hand in the side pocket and found the missing 20 dollars.

This could be a coincidence. And yes, there is a very good chance that even if I hadn't prayed, I would've still found it because I use that pocket all the time. But for me it was an immediate and obvious answer to a prayer that I wasn't even sure I had the faith to offer in the first place. It was an immediate and abundant outpouring of love and concern for me - a manifestation that my Heavenly Father knows me, loves me, and is aware of my situation. He knows my worries and my stresses and He knows how hard I try to do the right thing.

More than just finding a much-needed 20 dollars, this simple answer to a prayer was my Heavenly Father's way of showing me I'd be alright, as long as I trust Him and turn to Him for help.