the food rules me

I am hungry all. the. time. It's driving me crazy! I eat a full meal and I'm hungry within half an hour. Like, starving. This is especially frustrating when I'm at school. Don't worry, I'm a good little school girl--I bring my lunch to school and I bring extra snacks. Not enough. I'm nearly fainting by the time I get home. And half the time I have to go to work straight from school, which means I either have to pay money to buy something there or eat the crap that everyone else leaves lying around. I can't just carry all my day's food around with me. Not all food is really portable, you know. It's a problem.

I've tried to figure out what the problem is. I've considered pregnancy, except that it is obviously scientifically impossible for me to be pregnant since I know not a man, nor have I been artificially inseminated. Also, I'm about to go on birth control and I don't think they allow you to do that if you're pregnant. Although they do ask me every time I go to the doctor's office if there's any possibility that I'm pregnant. No, there's not. Thanks for rubbing it in. You probably have a husband and baby at home. I have a roommates that hate me.

I also don't understand how I'm starving all the time, yet my pants are shrinking as the days go on. Most of my work pants are unbuttoned within a half hour of getting home from work. They hurt me. I need to do something about that. But what? I can't cut out food. I'll die. For real. Maybe I should just cut out the 80 cookies I eat per day. It's an idea. Replace them with something a little more nutritious?

That's another thing. I really do try to eat well. When I cook for myself, it's always good. I like vegetables. I like healthy foods. It's the sugar that gets me. I don't buy it but I always seem to find it somewhere. At work. At friends' houses. When I go out to eat, which actually happens quite often(that alone probably explains the growing waistline and shrinking wallet).

It's frustrating. I really enjoy eating, but not when I have to come up with something to eat every other minute. I'm obviously not giving my body enough of what it needs and too much of what it doesn't. I'm struggling. So is my wardrobe.

Now, to the kitchen I go.